Friendship in Flux: Navigating Connection Through Life Changes

In our twenties, friendship often feels effortless — we share time, experiences, and dreams without much thought to the “how” or “why.” But as life changes, so do we. Careers take off, families form, moves happen, and mental health journeys reshape our priorities. One thing I’ve learned is that not every friendship will grow at the same pace.

Some connections lift you higher in your current season; others quietly fade, making space for what’s next. Paying attention to how you feel after spending time with someone — whether lighter, inspired, or completely drained — can reveal whether this connection is meant for a lifetime or simply a meaningful season.

Life Changes and the Friendship Lens

Our friendships often reflect the season of life we’re in. When I worked in the non-profit sector, many of my closest friends were colleagues who shared my passion for community work. Later, when I moved into a different field, those friendships naturally shifted. We no longer shared the same daily experiences, and our points of connection changed.

This isn’t about fault or neglect — it’s about recognizing that the context that once sustained a friendship may not always be there. And that’s okay. Sometimes a friendship’s greatest gift is the role it played during a specific chapter of your life. And now there's a little more thought and effort put into the relationships that I choose to keep in my life.

Energy as a Compass

One of the most powerful ways to understand your friendships is by noticing your energy. After spending time with someone, do you feel energized, understood, and grounded? Or do you leave feeling drained, anxious, or second-guessing yourself?

This doesn’t mean the friend is “bad” or that the relationship is doomed — it simply offers insight into whether the connection supports you in your current season. Energy is a compass. It tells you when to lean in, when to adjust boundaries, and when it might be time to step back.

What Sustains Friendships Over Time

While some friendships are tied to a season, others last through many. What makes them different often comes down to a few things:

• Shared values — you may not agree on everything, but you hold similar priorities and respect each other’s.

• Mutual respect — both people put in effort, listen, and make space for each other’s growth.

• Flexibility — life changes, and friendships that survive often do so because they adapt instead of demanding things stay the same.

These friendships can handle distance, different life stages, and even the occasional conflict because there’s a foundation of trust.

Seasonal vs. Lifetime Friendships

It’s not always easy to tell which friendships are seasonal and which are lifelong, but a few questions can help:

• Does this friendship still bring mutual joy?

• Is there effort and care from both sides?

• Can I accept the shape this friendship has taken, even if it’s different than before?

Seasonal friendships often center around shared experiences or environments — like school, a certain job, or a hobby group. They can be deeply meaningful without lasting forever. Lifetime friendships, on the other hand, have a deeper trust that can withstand long gaps in communication, changes in lifestyle, and personal evolution.

Closing Reflection

Friendships are not fixed contracts — they’re living, evolving connections. Some will walk with you for decades; others will share only a few meaningful miles. Both can be valuable, both can shape you, and both can end without failure.

Instead of clinging to what was, honor what is. Invest in the relationships that sustain you now, and release the ones that no longer fit without resentment.

Reflection prompt: What’s one friendship in your life that has changed for the better as you’ve grown — and why?